I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
