I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
