guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We don't watch enough power rangers
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You ruined the universe
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
