At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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