I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My dick has a subreddit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
