After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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