It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I didn't notice because vodka
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
