There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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