I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
