Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
