Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
