Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
