all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize