Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
