I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
