p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
We smell like vodka and hangover
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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