i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
