people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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