question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
porn star boner night. come get it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
