So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
