no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
