I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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