Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
