Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
