and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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