Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
