ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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