Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
