I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
