No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize