I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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