so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize