Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
