omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
