your parents love me but you hate me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
