No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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