okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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