Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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