taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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