he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
