I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
