I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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