Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
