We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
