The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
