I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
