I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
