real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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