Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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