i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
