It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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