Banned from zoo.
Again?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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