I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I sprained my soul last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
