i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
