Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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