found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
