Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
