and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize