I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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