Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
