Whod you bang
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
