the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
