so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
