Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
