Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
