it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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