i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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