omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
