My room smells like vodka and shame
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
