Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
