Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
