No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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