I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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